sad dot-to-dot

I have been seeing myself lately as a dot on a page. I have been imagining all the other dots around me, all those other people who are in the same world as me. Or the lack thereof.

The dots that flood faintly in a wash but that dissipate and rub off. The semi- permanent ones that wash out in water, they look great for a while but then they're gone. They may leave a mark or a stain, and sometimes they come back.

Then there are the ones you cannot draw cause they are kind of not actually there, the dots that would make you look really good on the page but do not hold any structural integrity. Some of these dots though I wish I actually had on my for real page. I know I may end up with more of these than I can give dot-love back to. Then there are dots that reappear, that form clusters around mine, sometimes they're inconsistent or random, but they're always there. Some of these dots actually stop me from moving onto anther page because I love them so much.

Then there are the ones that I should have drawn in permanent marker, because maybe they'd still be there. Sometimes I knew they were going, sometimes I didn't, but all of them left marks on my page so deep they will seep through every page I will ever fall onto. This week I lost another dot from my page, and so did everybody that shared that same dot, especially the little ones for whom that dot was their biggest.

We whom shared that dot can be sure that this dot seeps through and marks every page we all will ever have.